J. Kimery

That doesn't make me Asian

2011-10-01T19:49:00.009-04:00

I've been holding a lot in. You know ever since my life has been turned upside down
by crap. Just kidding. But I figured I'd blog and hey if you read. I lub you!

I did my informative speech today at school and oh sometimes I wonder why I do this
to myself? I pretty much revealed one of my biggest secret to a group of strangers,
and those dang emotions just took over me. I think back and go why the heck did I
cry? You know sometimes you just can't help it. I'm glad I refrained from the ugly
crying face and managed to finish my speech. Sucks though because I got points taken
off for staring at the Power point most of the time. Hey, that was actually my first
time with a Power point. I don't know how you look at the audience, point to the
Power point, and read and hold flash cards in one hand, and a PP remote in another.
So failed at multitasking.

Anyway, just a thought. If I come to your house and take my shoes off at the door.
It's not because I'm making myself comfortable in your home. I just have this
tendency to take my shoes off at the door. It's a habit and my way of showing
respect. Usually my first thought when I enter a home, I will see the entry and
contemplate, "Shoes off, or shoes on?" I feel like a lost child, unsure of what to
do. And I don't care if you're not Asian - just let me feel the softness of your
carpet!! Haha, jk. Just to let you know, come to my house - shoes off at the door
unless I really need to vacuum then I guess I'll let you slide. This doesn't make me
Asian :P

If you're wondering, I took most of the pictures off the blog because that google,
stalker stuff just now got to me. :/

I read this article yesterday and if and when I found time for photography again,
I want to do this kind of work! Capturing nature in the animal kingdom :) Check out the link.

http://animaltracks.today.com/_news/2011/09/27/7974512-cliffhanger-can-a-mama-lion-save-her-cub

To be young again

2011-08-12T01:28:00.003-04:00

Sigh* I remember how it was to be young with no worries or even understanding.
I'm sure everyone felt and feels this way, that when they're young, they wanted to be
old and now that they're old, they want to be young. The bittersweet-ness of it all.
I remember when all I had to worry about was lame school work, my friends, and if a
guy liked me, or if we were going to the park that Saturday. Life was more simple. And
I like the wisdom that comes with age but I then again I don't like being able to
understand things. Even though some things are more complex and I still don't
comprehend it at times.

I'm really looking forward to this coming year. Mainly because I don't know what's in
store for me and my family. I know that I will hopefully, if things go as planned, that
I will be closer to achieving my degree, have a job doing something I think I will
love, have the person I love back by my side, put a tough year behind me and the ones
I love, and who knows what else will happen.

I want to put these lyrics down because they are great lyrics :)

It’s like a storm
That cuts a path
It breaks your will
It feels like that
You think you're lost
But you're not lost
On your own
You're not alone

I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
And you can’t cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I won't let go

It hurts my heart
To see you cry
I know it’s dark
This part of life
Oh, it finds us all
But we’re too small
To stop the rain
Oh, but when it rains

I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do

And you can’t cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I won't let you fall

Don’t be afraid to fall
I’m right here to catch you
I won't let you down
It won't get you down
You're gonna make it
Yeah, I know you can make it

Cause I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
And you can’t cope
And I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I won't let go

Oh I’m gonna hold you
And I won't let go
Won't let you go
No, I won't

...

2011-08-09T19:39:00.003-04:00

I really don't get life. I mean who does? But I hate it when life hits you hard. I'm
the type that doesn't want to get back up. You would think not, being that I seem like
I have it together. I'm emotional and I also have that motherly part of me, obviously,
but I hate it when those close to me are hurting. It weakens me and it saddens me.
I wish I could take away their pain or change things. I love my family especially my
children and siblings because I feel like I'm suppose to take care of them and protect
them. But God give me the strength.

Life is short. Let's start appreciating the better things in life and those are the
ones around us. Not money, work, clothes, etc. I know work is a necessity but work to
live, not live to work. Make time and effort for one another. You never know what
tomorrow brings. Live for today. Not for tomorrow.

To my children, my husband, and all my family: I love you!

Oh Rascal Flatts, you always sing the truth and with this song, you are singing my
heart!

RIP R.T. <3, my brother's best friend. Thank you for being his good friend, his
family. His heart aches for you and my heart aches for you and him. Anyone who's had
such impact on his life, has my love and respect. With Love.

I'm a semi-believer...

2011-08-04T21:40:00.023-04:00

Have you ever wanted to touch something so bad even though you know you can't because
it's so far away? And don't you hate it when your fears take over your dreams? Just
some random questions I've 'felt' for the week.

Horoscopes...I know my sign but I'm not big on it. I don't read it nor really read into
it like some people do. I mean it can be a 'guidance' thing to most and that's great.
Many fb friends of mine have their daily horoscopes posted onto their fb. And I mainly
wanted to write this post because I actually read my horoscope for today through a fb
friend's page, since I'm guessing they're an Aries as well. But I was 'pulled' in
because I noticed the compatibility was Leo. And guess who's a Leo, my husband :) I've
read in the past about the good compatibility but thought I'd refresh my memory on it.
Supposedly they are very compatible and so I wonder is it really the horoscope, or is
it just us? I guess we can say it's on point. So I'll say that I'm a semi-believer
since I like what it's saying :P Are you obsessed with horoscopes?

So ever since aviators made their mark, again, in fashion and popularity, I've always
wanted a pair but being that I have an oversized head and round face I could never
find one to match me. But I finally found one that I think fits me perfectly so
here's an image to share. $5 wal-mart, doesn't get any better than this :) I'm not a
glasses person as in I lose & break my regular glasses and sunglasses. So like my
husband says, I will eventually lose or break these. I hope not, I'm trying hard to
be more responsible lol. Oh & I've realized that one of my ears is higher than the
other or something because my glasses are somewhat crooked, how awesome huh?

I love you like crazy

2011-07-12T22:44:00.003-04:00

Have you ever yelled at a fly or a bug in general? Makes you wonder what people would
think if they were around. Lol.

Anyway currently in love with these three songs. Oh country songs, you used to make
me happy and mellow but I guess with the circumstances right now, you make me
sad...boohoo

Eli Young Band - Crazy Girl

Maroon 5 - Take It All

LMFAO - Party Rock Anthem (I just wanna dance!)

And this song never gets old. Emarosa - A Toast To The Future Kids

Plastic-shop

2011-07-07T01:29:00.005-04:00

Alright so I didn't even intend to write this post...definitely not this kind. But
while I was in photoshop, resizing my picture to send to Babe, a thought of...'this
would make for a nice fun shopping image' came to mind. Well as you can see I went
beyond manipulating the photo, more than I intended to. But after seeing the
aftermath, all I could think about was vanity, beauty, and perception.

It's hard being a female today in the US. Where looks and appearances are at the top
of the list as desirable and everywhere we look, there's this need and want to be
perfect. We don't see much of this 'perfection' here in the Carolina but defn in
NY and CA...I'm kind of glad I don't reside there :P

Anyway. We all can get caught up in our image especially as time passes and we age.
I'm sure most women have thought about what they could do to themselves to better
themselves whether it be pills, ointments, temporary 'masks' & 'illusions', or
surgery.

Nothing against those who do because I sure am one of those women. But I worry of the
society and generation of my children especially my daughter. If we're this vain
today, how will the future be? I really don't want my daughter to submit herself to
her image.

I feel that vanity is somewhat of a sickness, an addiction. I want to break free of
it and everyday is going to be a challenge. Ladies, I don't care what you do to
yourselves as that is your personal choice but let's try and remember that our outer
image is only a small part of us that makes us who we are. You are beautiful. We all
are. But remember that you are so much more than that! I will do the same and if you
want to, let's all go through this vanity rehab together :)

So I didn't even plan on writing this long essay. But the heart speaks!! Lol. Anyway
this is the image. Well the plastic-shop next to my non plastic-shop self. I almost
decided against putting this comparison up because my 'creation' was so pretty lol.
Do I really want to be compared to that now? In public or to those who read this? But
ahh, oh well. Don't judge on my real self now folks :P And yes I have make up on cuz
heck no I am not putting my fresh face on blast on here. Haha. But that is the
original image, you can see my pimples, scars, dark circles, what else you want me to
point out huh?!

But on the left, my 'creation'. Heck I'd change and keep some of those on myself if I
could lol. But just some features that many women change and desire, the oval shaped
face, the thin high nose, raised eyebrows, big eyes, big lips, flawless skin. It's
not perfect so don't hate on my plastic-shopping. Plastic surgery in general isn't
'perfect' anyway. But hope ya enjoyed! If ya see me out like this one day, ya know I
fell off the vanity rehab wagon lol.

Ovid: Ars Amatoria (The Art of Love) Book III

2011-07-02T13:17:00.007-04:00

I wanted to share in this post, of a Roman poet named Ovid. I never heard of him
until now but I read snippets of his poetry for western history and I found it quite
interesting. It is about love and his advice to men and women but this book is for
the women. It is quite long but if you're interested, read it.

PART I
Have fun while it’s allowed, while your years are in their prime:
the years go by like flowing waters:
The wave that’s past can’t be recalled again,
the hour that’s past never can return.
Life’s to be used: life slips by on swift feet,
what was good at first, nothing as good will follow.
Those stalks that wither I saw as violets:
from that thorn-bush to me a dear garland was given.
There’ll be a time when you, who now shut out your lover,
will lie alone, and aged, in the cold of night,
nor find your entrance damaged by some nocturnal quarrel,
nor your threshold sprinkled with roses at dawn.
How quickly (ah me!) the sagging flesh wrinkles,
and the colour, there, is lost from the bright cheek.
And hairs that you’ll swear were grey from your girlhood
will spring up all over your head overnight.
Snakes shed their old age with their fragile skin,
antlers that are cast make the stag seem young:
un-aided our beauties flee: pluck the flower,
which, if not plucked, will of itself, shamefully, fall.
Add that the time of youth is shortened by childbirth:
the field’s exhausted by continual harvest.

PART II
But I’m blown about by greater gusts of wind,
while we’re in harbour, may you ride the gentle breeze.
I’ll start with how you look: good wine comes from vines
that are looked after, tall crops stand in cultivated soil.
Beauty’s a gift of the gods: how many can boast it?
The larger number among you lack such gifts.
Taking pains brings beauty: beauty neglected dies,
even though it’s like that of Venus, the Idalian goddess.
If girls of old didn’t cultivate their bodies in that way,
well they had no cultivated men in those days:

PART IV
How near I was to warning you, no rankness of the wild goat
under your armpits, no legs bristling with harsh hair!
But I’m not teaching girls from the Caucasian hills,
or those who drink your waters, Mysian Caicus.
So why remind you not to let your teeth get blackened,
be being lazy, and to wash your face each morning in water?
You know how to acquire whiteness with a layer of powder:
she who doesn’t blush by blood, indeed, blushes by art.
You make good the naked edges of your eyebrows,
and hide your natural cheeks with little patches.
It’s no shame to highlight your eyes with thinned ashes,
or saffron grown by your banks, bright Cydnus.
It’s I who spoke of facial treatments for your beauty,
a little book, but one whose labour took great care.
There too you can find protection against faded looks:
my art’s no idle thing in your behalf.
Still, don’t let your lover find cosmetic bottles
on your dressing table: art delights in its hidden face.
Who’s not offended by cream smeared all over your face,
when it runs in fallen drops to your warm breast?
Don’t those ointments smell? Even if they are sent from Athens,
they’re oils extracted from the unwashed fleece of a sheep.
Don’t apply preparations of deer marrow openly,
and I don’t approve of openly cleaning your teeth:
it makes for beauty, but it’s not beautiful to watch:
many things that please when done, are ugly in the doing:

PART X
Avoid those men who profess to looks and culture,
who keep their hair carefully in place.
What they tell you they’ve told a thousand girls:
their love wanders and lingers in no one place.
Woman, what can you do with a man more delicate than you,
and one perhaps who has more lovers too?
You’ll scarcely credit it, but credit this: Troy would remain,
if Cassandra’s warnings had been heeded.
Some will attack you with a lying pretence of love,
and through that opening seek a shameful gain.
But don’t be tricked by hair gleaming with liquid nard,
or short tongues pressed into their creases:
don’t be ensnared by a toga of finest threads,
or that there’s a ring on every finger.
Perhaps the best dressed among them all’s a thief,
and burns with love of your finery.

Link to the rest: Art of Love

Above the clouds

2010-04-28T20:17:00.005-04:00

This past weekend Babe and I flew out to California...sadly for my cousin's
funeral. On our first flight out from Fayetteville to Charlotte, I snapped
some shots of the clouds because they were just amazingly beautiful. And the
last time I saw them like that was almost 7 years ago.

Anyway, while looking out the window...surrounded by beautiful clouds, I
thought back to my childhood days. When I used to think that -- when people
past away, they lived and walked on clouds. That that was heaven. I was
young and noone taught me what was what except for what I saw and believed
from movies/tv. But yeah, that's what I believed. And I just stared out the
window and thought, if that were true...I would see my cousins. That I would
see Pakou and Sterling. Walking on the clouds. If only it were true. I wish
it were true so I could see them. But of course it's nothing more than silly
childhood beliefs.

I miss you both... Life goes on, but the heart doesn't.

Day 4 of Love Dare -- Result

2009-05-29T20:18:00.005-04:00

So it wasn't that difficult of a dare. I called him & it definitely threw him off gaurd. Goes to show how much I call him and ask how he's doing HAH! or ask him if he needs anything LOL! So he basically thought either something was wrong at home or that he had done something wrong & I was tricking him. But he didn't need anything so that was pretty much it.

Aside from "love dare", I woke up with something. Allergies maybe (which I hardly have) but I had this yucky thing in my throat and it's still there plus a defiant nose that's been runny this whole day. Yea too much info :D But I'm still miserable. Even more since I tried to give Bella a haircut. I am seriously just going to take her to the groomer next time. I just have to make myself get over the cost first.

Here's a picture of what our day consisted of. I'm having a hard time focusing with the new lens (my vision doesn't help either). (*pic unedited)

Day 4 of Love Dare -- Love is Thoughtful

2009-05-28T11:33:00.010-04:00

You know when I started this, I didn't expect to get so many "A ha" moments. Or I didn't think most of what I've read so far would imply to us because our relationship is nowhere near the relationship that was in "Fireproof" the movie. But so far, it's been so relatable and so on point. It's like every time a dispute occurs, I'd read about it in the book right after.

Okay love is thoughtful. I've read so many times that a woman expects a man to know what she's thinking or feeling. Yet everytime after I read it, I still expect Babe to know what I'm thinking or feeling. Funny.

We had a dispute recently about Babe getting a gym membership. Keeping it short, I felt like he could have waited until the funds were there & selfishly, I didn't want him at the gym so much either. With babe being so persistent as he calls it, he asked me the first time and I said no. He asked again the next day, and I said no. So he does this to the point where I just say whatever sure (but I don't mean it). B/c this whatever sure is like the kind you do it with attitude and you give him the look like "You do it & you know what's going to happen" kind of look. But of course he doesn't get my look haha.

Well Monday, we finally sat and talked it out. There's more to the story of course but it's long. Like right before all this, he said I had one of my schizo moments where I'm happy one minute and then pissed the next. But the thing is, he doesn't see that it's b/c stuff happens that makes me snap -- moodwise. And like this chapter states, if he would put two and two together, he would see that I'm not as schizo as he thinks lol. But that's not him. He doesn't read in between the lines like how I want him to. But most of the time, that's why problems happen and/or extends.

(Summarized from the book) "He gets frustrated because she's speaking in riddles and doesn't just come out with it, while she's frustrated that he's inconsiderate and doesn't add two and two together and figure it out."

Hmm...sounds familiar. Oh forgot to write that my love dare for today is to call Babe & ask how he's doing and if I could do anything for him.

I'll leave the blog with some more test shots with my new friend. (*pics minor edited)

Day 1 of Love Dare -- Result

2009-05-21T00:56:00.007-04:00

So I thought the dare was for that specific day that I read it on but in the book it said for the next day, etc.. Therefore I did the first dare yesterday and then again today.

I'd say that I passed with a 90% yesterday (it could be Babe slept most of the day so there was nothing testing me). But today, more like this afternoon/evening...it turned into 90& impatience and everything negative.

It's hard when money is the topic. I can't believe how my patience can turn into impatience, from my anger spiking up in a matter of seconds, to everything negative coming out of my mouth. The book said, if I had nothing positive to say then to not say anything at all. But I just had to...I was going to explode holding it all in.

I was close to putting "pissed off" in my status bar but got helpfully interrupted by my bff cousin. And an hour later, my anger has gone down. It doesn't hurt to have Warren Barfield's "Love is not a fight" playing either.

I can definitely say I failed this dare big time. This is going to be harder than I thought. I'm contemplating redoing this dare for tomorrow but would that defeat the purpose -- or maybe I'm being impatient again.

Day 1 of Love Dare -- Love is Patient

2009-05-19T12:55:00.005-04:00

My first dare -- patience & nothing negative.

Lucky he will be sleeping for most of today since he pulled another 24hr shift last night. But the dare consists of tomorrow as well and maybe the days following.

I already had something negative in mind to ask him when he wakes up but now I will have to reword it and remember to not have a negative reaction.

"Few of us do patience very well, and none of us do it naturally." (quoted from book)

So definitely pray for me :D

Fireproof

2009-05-17T16:45:00.006-04:00

Here's a little something to make up for not blogging in awhile.

I wanted to watch the movie 'Fireproof' ever since I got the newsletter from wayofthemaster.com. It's been in my blockbuster list for awhile, it's just been #122 or so.

Babe was working really late last night so nothing else to do but watch a late night movie. Accidentally enough I put in 'Fireproof' rather than 'Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys', but I went ahead and watched it anyway.

My cousin Kolia texted me, "I hope you cry HAHA." Not really helpful because I cry at almost every movie regardless if it's a comedy, drama, scary, etc...I'm a cry baby so if I see a tear and hear sad music, you've pretty much got me. I didn't cry as much as I thought I would. To be honest, I love crying to movies. I prefer to cry to movies alone though. That way I can bawl and do the ugly cry...more satisfying. If there's people around, I have to keep quiet and let the tears fall secretly lol. And that is no fun :P

Okay now to the movie. It was inspirational. I can't say that my faith has been its strongest but after watching it, it definitely gives me that push for both a better, stronger faith and marriage. I'm grateful that my marriage is still strong due to our circumstances (if you compare it to statistics)...young, jr. high love, kids, military, deployments, etc. Although blessed, I don't want to wait for my marriage to fall before I start to do something. I want to make sure it doesn't happen but if it does, I want to prepare ourselves should a tribulation occur.

So...I went and got 'The Love Dare' book. Call me lame but I want to continue to build my marriage and continue to "study my husband", even though I think I'm near a master's degree on him ;D I've been wanting something different. Tired of living the same sinful life. As much as I think it will make Babe happy with me following the 'Love Dare' book, it'll steer me back on track with my faith as well. Hopefully I'll drop my addictions along the way. Sleep, t.v., internet, photography...just to name a few. I just want peace & I think I'm on the right track to it.

I'll leave this long post with a recent picture of my little girl, Kyla. (*pic edited)

Love is in my air (pt 3)

2009-03-04T18:18:00.002-05:00

The reason the title of the book is "Men are like waffles, & Women are like spaghetti" is because...men process life in boxes, and women process life more like a plate of spaghetti. Some may disagree but oh well. A waffles contains boxes separated by walls and can hold stuff (life issues). Spaghetti consists of noodles (life issues) that touch, intertwine, etc. with one another. If you follow a noodle, you'll eventually intersect with another.

Basically, women like to link life issues/emotions with one another whereas men only want to stay with one! So while the women are going on about the many issues they are dealing with, the men are panicking & jumping boxes, trying to keep up (conversation-wise).

Summarized example from the book:

Woman says: "Honey, the other day I was driving by your favorite truck store--the one where you got that cool cup holder that goes on the window; and that truck store is right next to my favorite dress shop. You know, the one with the cute two-piece suit in the window? That suit is my color. You know last week I went to that seminar on colors to find out what colors look good on me and what don't, and they said I was a 'summer' and that suit is a summer color so I knew if I bought it and put it on you'd say, 'Oh baby, you look so fine' and I love it when you say that. That suit sort of looks like the suit Mrs. Clinton wore when she said she talked to Eleanor Roosevelt for inspiration. It's kind of weird though since Eleanor's dead. Isn't that like the New Age Stuff we heard about in church on Sunday? That stuff is getting into the schools, maybe we should stop and pray for the kids."

Man says: "So what about my truck?"

Haha, sorry I still find it funny. We both did the second time we read about it. I have to admit that I carry on A LOT like the example here. Funny but sad but true!

The End.

Love is in my air (pt 2)

2009-03-02T17:43:00.001-05:00

Finally get to writing the second part. It was too long to write it with the previous post. But first...it's freezing today. The weather is so off (at least to what I'm used to around here). Come back sunny weather, please!

Babe and I have been to a couple (military) marriage seminars in '05 & '06. Now we did go to both mainly for the myrtle beach factor but a little was for the seminar part too :) We did learn some stuff & if it bettered our marriage, I guess you can say so. I think any form of counseling whether it be with a third party or ourselves is a step up to a better marriage/relationship. The speaker-listener technique and five love languages are what we learned of & experimented.

Last year, I wanted to continue the marriage counseling/whatever you may call it because I think it's good for us. So I bought the "Men are like waffles, Women are like spaghetti" book/study guide. We didn't get too far into the book b/c the army consumed his time and strength so we stopped. But we picked it back up on Valentine's day of this year. We were driving to Rock Hill, SC to visit the family and we had 3 hours to kill (plus we couldn't find the ipod) so I was like what the "bananas" and brought the book along. We're only at chapter 2 right now but let me say, so far there are a lot of oohs and ahhs, and a lot of whats? & hahas. I didn't intend for a part 3 but there will be one since this post is getting long lol. There, I will share a snippet of what we read & that will be the end of "Love is in my air"...hopefully.

Photoshoots/pictures coming up soon so enjoy this for now ;)

Love is in my air (pt 1)

2009-02-25T14:45:00.002-05:00

I need to blog like instantly when I think of things. After two babies and a delusional husband (joking lol), my short-term memory is so bad. Those who can relate, know what I am going through. I've done that "where are my glasses? oh they're on my head" ordeal like at least ten times (though I think I'm underestimating). I've been wearing glasses for about 3 years? But this is just one of the many examples.

Anyway, the piano used to be the instrument to my heart. I love the sound of it. I like trance too, and that's usually to calm & soothe my soul...ahem anger too. About two years ago, Babe introduced me to the song "Which to bury us or the hatchet by Relient K". I rarely like alternative/rock songs but this one was ROCKIN'! (Sorry I am not up to code on the cool lingo, even at my age and all). The lyrics are great but that banjo solo just makes me melt everytime I hear it! In fact, I'm listening to it right now as I'm typing this lol. Another artist, mister Sufjan Stevens, again introduced to me by Babe (don't I just love him), mainly uses the banjo in his songs. I didn't take to him at first but his banjo skills are beyond amazing. His song "For the widows in paradise, for the fatherless in Ypsilanti" is filled with the sounds of the banjo. Last but not least the current song on my Myspace page, Feist's "1 2 3 4" is cheesy fun & the banjo just adds so much more to it. Move over piano, guitar, etc...the banjo is taking over (at least for me)!

Here are the links to youtube if you want to check them out. I know some people are too lazy to look them up so I'll make it easier and add links :D

Feist: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8Z-DIAthbM
Relient K: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZJBejiIHSo
Sufjan Stevens: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVZcAzXWciQ

The New Blog

2009-02-20T14:00:00.001-05:00

Okay I finally settled on "Blogger" as my blog site. I know it's pretty plain right now so bear with me. I'll try and spruce it up with some color and of course, pictures! I will also try and update it as much as I can and make it as interesting as possible. For those who know me, that'll be a challenge (lol).

Feel free to follow me!